Insanity

After two full weeks of working in Brooklyn and commuting with Dan, I have decided that anyone driving (and potentially those walking as well) in Brooklyn is required to be certifiably insane. Prior to this Brooklyn gig, all I really new of the borough was that I-278 ran through it. If at all possible, stay on the freeway because it's no fun navigating the maze of one-way streets, some of which are numbered, but most of which are not.

When we're having a good day, we're able to stick to nice big roads like the one pictured here - a full two lanes, plus a supposed lane next to the parked cars. The rightmost lane is really imaginary because of morning delivery trucks, people opening car doors, double-parked cars for no particular purpose, and pedestrians leading off the curb because they KNOW they can make it across all six lanes of traffic against the light if they just walk out a little bit further.

Our route inevitably takes us on at least some of the more standard Brooklyn roads - one way, with cars parked along both sides, often two cars deep. I made the mistake once of trying to drive straight through the Crown Heights neighborhood to 4th avenue, rather than going South a bit and hitting the most evil traffic circle known to man (aka Grand Army Plaza). It took me 30 minutes to go something like 15 blocks. I had to slolum between double-parked cars with barely enough room to keep my mirrors out, over speed bumps, around people walking their dogs in the street, and stopping at a traffic light at every block. I now know that to go South, I must first head North to a bigger road, where I'll risk the occasional sudden left turn from the right-hand lane on a three-lane road, but at least the lights are timed so you can go 15 blocks before hitting a red.

Parking is another matter. They have roads here that alternate which side you can park on depending on whether it is an even or odd day of the month. It's mostly multi-family homes or apartment buildings, so there are WAY more cars than street parking in most neighborhoods. We went to an event in Prospect Park (Brooklyn) not too long ago and spent a good 30-45 minutes circling for parking. It did allow Penny some extra nap time, but it's terrible on the nerves to keep circling in these kinds of conditions. We just wanted to get out of the car. We were so excited to find the space above...just enough room from the fire hydrant behind us and plenty of space ahead for the bus stop. Sadly, the law here is that the bus stop extends to whatever the first street sign is. Behind that sign would have been too close to the hydrant. So, it sort of resembles a trap to me, a way for NYC to make up their budget deficit. I also got a ticket for parking in a zone where there is no parking only between the hours of 11am-1:30pm. It was packed when I parked at 9am. I saw no sign to the effect mentioned, but my ticket indicated it was a special zone. So if you're parking around NYC anywhere, triple check your signs because if a spot looks too good to be true, it probably is.

Dan and I agree that we are likely taking years off our lives from the stress of driving around here. I can't even tell you how many near misses I've had from people squooshing my lane to avoid parked cars, merging into me, preventing me from merging so I can exit, backing into traffic, and generally people who feel invincible in their SUVs. Have you ever had a total fight or flight response in your car? It's some pretty scary stuff trying to slow the heart and start breathing again. I'll likely be switching to public transit once Dan's finished with the reasonable hours of his psych rotation. Him...well...his hours may allow him to travel at more sane times of traffic (wee hours of morning or long after rush hour). One can only hope. Otherwise, he might have to get an apartment in Brooklyn and I might have to support that just so he doesn't die of a heartattack or get hospitalized from someone else's stupidity. Pray for sanity on the roads of NYC!