As you can imagine from the nearly complete lack of blogs in November, things have been pretty busy here in Ohio. Dan visited us in that first week of November in between his dad's death and funeral. We didn't make it up there for the events because we were taking care of my mom, which was getting increasingly intense. Dan was home for one of the four days we took care of Mom without any nursing help. Luckily, it only took that long for the hospice folks to realize we needed a little extra help since I had no business doing the heavy lifting and lack of sleep that was getting more and more necessary.
On Sunday, November 22 Penny and I went to a concert with Aunt Helen over at the Dayton Art Institute. It was lots of fun - a little chamber music, string quartet, etc. Sadly, we listened to much of it through the auditorium doors because Penny decided to be ravenous after the first song. We went home and had some dinner, then Amanda played with Penny a bit while I helped Mom get cleaned. Unfortunately, it quickly became apparent that she was having problems we couldn't really deal with at home, so we called hospice and by 9:00 p.m. or so they had checked her back into the inpatient unit. When Penny and I went to visit Mom the next morning, the first thing the nurse said was that we had made the right choice by bringing her in - she had had a rough night and they were still working on a plan to get her comfortable. At 11am or so, right when Penny was starting to fall asleep in the comfy chair, the nurse came in to do a procedure she hoped would help relieve some of Mom's pain. Penny and I gladly stepped out to grab some lunch and go hang out with Aunt Helen and little John over at Aunt Rose's house.
I really wanted to talk to a doctor about Mom's condition at that point, but knew it could be quite a wait. So I left Penny with Aunt Helen and headed back to hospice. When I arrived, the nurse flagged me down and apologized profusely. Mom had died while we were out and none of our contact numbers appeared to work (they tried calling Mom's house and we obviously weren't home, Amanda's cell died a few days prior). The nurse said the procedure went really well and Mom was wonderfully relaxed and peaceful afterward. Mom hadn't been comfy in days, so this was a real relief for me. A little while later, a nurse had checked on Mom and found she was no longer breathing, so she had just let go peacefully in her sleep and I couldn't really ask for better in my mind. I called Amanda while the nurses cleaned Mom up and she got a ride over from her boss. I called my grandparents and they came right over. My grandfather (who is also a deacon) said a short prayer service with her right then and there. Then we called Mom's friend Rachel Ann and she came over with her son the mortician to see Mom and take her to get ready for her funeral. Mom had planned everything out right down to flowers she wanted, so all we really had to do was pick a date and some prayer cards when the time came. The date sucked - Black Friday - but there wasn't much way around it if John was going to be able to attend and we were to have a memorial service with a priest for her. It went really well all in all and everyone had a time to reminisce, lean on each other and have some tasty lasagna and cheesecake.
Then the real fun began - what does it mean to be an executrix for an estate? It means ridiculous paperwork and filtering through everything having to do with my Mom for the next 6 months to a year as I understand it. I started trying to figure out what I need to do (sadly, it took me a whole week to realize a paper book might be better than cruising the Net for info). I've got some things in hand, but am still trying to figure out the will filing process - made tougher by the probate court not wanting to provide any advice on the subject. We'll get there eventually, though. For now, I've made some progress figuring out Mom's assets and how they're supposed to distribute themselves upon death, I found the will and now just have to figure out how to file it and proceed from there. Family has recommended a number of good probate lawyers, whom we might have to consult. Though I think her estate is ultimately small enough that it wouldn't go to probate court or anything. We'll see.
Meanwhile, we're also at the half-way point for Passenger #2. Look at that cute little face! She (December is a girl month) has been kicking up a storm for almost a month now. No little swirly sensations for her...straight into kicks. There were five billion measurements taken during this sonogram (seemed like tons more than in England) and all seemed to look good. There was even a cool button to push to see blood flow through the heart, cord and placenta!! She is supposedly 11oz or so in there, right on target for 20 weeks. So despite concerns about my eating habits, Passenger #2 appears to be getting plenty to eat in there. Thankfully, though, the hunger pains have abated a bit so I'm only eating four meals a day and two snacks and generally feeling good. And...I apparently have an iron stomach. Both Mandy and the nurses had to get some air when taking care of Mom, but I rarely had to engage in such stomach-settling activities. Go Passenger #2 for helping Mommy do her job!
Now it's just a week until Penny and I head to NYC to act as the prep team for Dan's return to the U.S. There's plenty to do before we head out - second dose of flu shots and one year checkup for Penny, actually file the will, strategic packing, maybe talking to a probate lawyer and eating all the food Amanda won't once we're gone (includes ice cream, beets, frozen yogurt, mushrooms, fish and spaghetti). If anyone knows any recipes that might knock out multiple items on that list, we're open to suggestions. We'll be back in January for a few more doctor appointments, probably some probate stuff and maybe even further steps in the process. We'll see how that shakes out. It's not allowed to take TOO long because I need to get back to NYC to have the baby (and there's Medicaid, WIC, etc. to apply for when we settle in there). Not too much more traveling for us after that, though, as it gets a lot tougher to fly with Penny as a lap child as my lap disappears. Thanks for all your support and prayers as we continue on this exciting adventure. I'll try to do better to keep you posted on what we're up to.
Someone recently asked Dan if he was cursed. There are the obvious recent events. Then, there's getting home from Grenada. The earliest ticket we had found was December 19, a full week after classes ended. There is only one American Airlines flight out of Grenada per day, so not a whole lot of weather flexibility. Of course, it was that day the meteorologists predicted the arrival of what they liked to call a blizzard. We kept Dan posted about various timing updates and kept our fingers crossed. He dashed through the Miami airport as quick as humanly possible to see if he could squeeze onto an earlier flight to anywhere in NYC to try to beat the snow here. He called to tell us which flight he was on just as the snow began to fall here. He arrived before the highest snowfall rate, but there was still a bit more than an inch already on the ground. Once back on Staten Island, he got to drive the remainder of the way home, despite it being quite some time since he's driven on snow. By morning, there were 10 in of blowing, yet heavy snow to shovel out of the walk and driveway. His luggage would arrive three days later.
